Saturday, February 04, 2006
ever wondered why when someone asks you a question, you give a shitty answer, then after you've answered, you think of the perfect thing to say? or when someone asks you a question and you give a perfectly dumb response and then you know exactly what to say? just a random thought. well it happened to me on countless occasions. i somehow manage to say the dumbest effing stuff. and then when that person gets mad at me i wish i could take it back. and sometimes saying sorry is really not enough. it as if i promised myself that i will not think before i say something. and worse of all, words are like toothpaste. once they're out there there's no way to put them back. people always tell me to think before i say anything. but tell me. if you think for more then 5 seconds. people call you slow, and if u give them an answer right away and it's very hurting, they call you a bitch. ironic? yeah, totally. and i am so sorry to that one person. whom i think i have insulted.
every had one of those monments where you lose your head and tell some random person all your secrets?
me neither. HAHA.
today. woke up at 1130am. sat on the sofa for half an hour watched tv. talked rot with my brother. then went to the kitchen to make breakfast. toast with jam and kaya spread. today i liked the jam more then the kaya. gosh i sound like a kid.
then my mom woke up. and told my brother he had to go for tuition, and she wanted to bring me and my sister out to eat. then came a stupid quarrel. and i ended up going with my mom for breakfast with out my sister. i had ice jelly thing and dumplings.
i dont feel like blogging about my day anymore.
i feel so odd now. thinking about things. and random thoughts are running through my head. and i'm really out of sorts today. do you ever feel that the world is full of your friends but then they're not? do you ever feel like people are so fake that they can be be actors and actresses in movies. did you ever feel like your life is a horrible tv drama series that people are watching and laughing at your misfortunes?
i have. it whomps. big time.
goodness. isn't my life eff-ed up? if i just dissappeared into thin air it wouldnt really make a difference would it? i'm like this walking dream. not really here. floating around with no aim.
but i do have an aim. i want to be sucessful, i want to do it my way. reasons why i dont get along with "them"? maybe cos i refuse to be like them? i've seen people i know change their entire character just to be "it".
when you have power it consumes you. when you have power you dont think rationally. when you have power you become a tryant. tyrants arent loved. are they? most tyrants just want more power. the world owes them, dignity, respect. and we do owe tyrants those things. but in the long run? guess who owes who?
by
nicole, the one and only
the cow flew away
