Saturday, February 25, 2006
when everything feels so out of place
when everyone seems to get in your face
think of it as a challenge to overcome
when what was so dear to you
seems unclear
remember that i'll be right here
even when i want to break down
i see your face in my head
and i know what i want to do
i can hear you telling me not to let things get me down
but i never apperciated you
i never thanked you enough
i never really saw the person that was there for me
all i saw was the flaws that weren't there
all the pain that i couldn't share
but now that i looked back at it
it's all so insignificant
i was too caught up in myself
i was selfish
i didn't think much of you
i realised how much i say the word i
but i never really thought of how YOU felt
now your gone
and i suddenly feel empty
when you bottle everything up inside
it's gonna burst out soon
what they say is rightyou never know what you had until it's gone
and i'm sorry.
this is for that someone who has been there for me since sec2 and i have really been an ass to that person and i want to say sorry.
i've been thinking alot lately. i really havent been a very good person in the past year, year 2005. i never took the time to appreciate what i had. i just focused on everything i didnt have. i really think that i'm becoming a over complacent brat. i havent been performing as well as i would like in class lately. but i want to do well. so i'm not gonna let my scores bring me down. i'm gonna be the best i can be.
MUCH LOVE and have a nice day.
p.s i think i'm in major denial.
by
nicole, the one and only
the cow flew away
Saturday, February 18, 2006
today... it was X-country. so i met sam, shuwen and anthony in the morning at 6 AM. then cabbed down to mac ritchie. reached there around 630. goodness it was so ulu and so we went to the resevoir and sat there. it was soooo peaceful. i have never been so calm in a long time. i guess i love water alot. i love the rain also. it's so... serene. so at around 720 we went back to the carpark to assemble and blah blah... oh and we got the class t-shirt. it's effing cute can? and then the b division went off and then the b div girls then c div guys and.. well you know.. so i was gonna run for the total defece thing, and it was after the c div girls start their run. and today i ran like crap. thanks to Wei Jie, cos he was encouraging me almost all the way. thank you, so so so much.
i think i'm a total asswipe. i let the class down. but! i finished the run. although i think i walked like 1/4 of the way. i'm so not a long distance runner. i should just die and get it over with.
isnt it obvious? i'm dealing with MAJOR confidence problems. eff it lah. oh Vic was in position no. 25. and he lent me his watch for like half an hour. it's sooooo nice. like totally retro. oh and natalie came in 25 also. coolios. oh, carmelle had some problems with either one of her legs and i hope she's alright now.
sooooo... overall cross country was pretty fun. and i'm thinking of not running next year. pfft. i'm a hopless case when it comes to running. i'm an inline skater for crying out loud. please.
anyways, have a nice day people.
MUCH LOVE!
by
nicole, the one and only
the cow flew away
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Pookie! haha. i love my baby cousin samuel. when i talk to him he gurgles and smiles. SO SWEET. if i could i would marry him. HAHA. but anyhoo.. i'm feeling pretty hyper today. so... started off today with a test lah.. social studies. bleah. i think i did alright, i think i can scrape enough to pass. WHOO!
then math. finished up on cosine rule and started on finding e area of a triangle. smartypants nicole says: the formula is 1/2ab sinA. random... and i'm not a smartypants. i just like to think i am as some people are so kind to point out.. then free period. mostly talked about sports day, which is in april? a little early huh? BUT, our class is aiming for the model class award. and we've lost alot of good runners to the sec3s. good runners like liang fu, jia, kenneth chum and so on. poo. this whomps.
then recess. i had BEE HOON! and then after that went to learn @ fairfield. played one round of "illegal" whatever it's called, and many rounds as we could in 1hr of BLUFF! goodness. FUN! oh and rajesh so cannot lie. and it was so darn funny. then math again and then some breifing for e local service learning thingamabob. and then choir and whatnot. went home by train today. LUCKY. otherwise i'd be stuck at that wretched bus stop for over an hour again. and it was raining and i;m lucky i had an ummbrella with me.
so that's my day. and it's all gooood. oh and i still have a news paper thingy and math and social studies to do. i wish i wasnt schooling anymore.
oh and my dad's a SUPER HUGE NAGGER. dont know why. my feet hurt.and there's cross country on saturday. HAHA. I CANT WAIT!
by
nicole, the one and only
the cow flew away
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
IT'S VALENTINES DAY!
i missed school yesterday, being sick and all. and i took medicine this morning which only came into effect at like 12 in the afternoon. poo. i'm such a kuku head. i owe many people valentines day gifts. and i owe vic his styrofoam board. and some other nonsense thingamajig. and i owe owi candies or sweets... i owe shuwen a birthday gift and whatnot. and i feel really bad about it. and this EFFING HEADACHE IS SO NOT HELPING. oh, which reminds me. on friday i saw him. and i was like "crud" i didnt even dare to look at him in the eye. i wonder how he did. i mean i'm a huge coward when it comes to these stuff. pooooo-lah! haha.
DISNEY CHANNEL IS HAVING A VALENTINES DAY MARATHON THINGY! effing fantastic! and i was watching Kim Possible. and i love the naked mole rat, Rufus. he's sweet. yay! Kim got together with Josh Mankey. all together now...
AWWWWW!
Blah.. i'm so darned tired, not to mention sick and stuffed up. and my throat hurts like poop.
"I wOnDeR wHaT mY mUmMy WoUlD sAy If ShE CoUlD rEaD tHiS."
i've just proven that i'm bored out of my mind. it took me like a full minute to type that dumb sentance. i think like 500 braincells died when i tried to do that. blahhness.
picky nitty gritty. oh and our class t-shirt costs 18 bucks and it's SO CUTE!!! IT'S LITTLE MISS AND MR. MEN! sweetness.
one
word
is
all
it
takes
to
ruin
someone's
day.
but
my
day
was
ruined
by
one
of
my
friends
being
very
sad
today.
seriously. can you see that i'm bored?
Conversation between atitkah, xiao yan and i-
SCENE 1 *ACTION!*
nicole: Hi, i'm bored. what's your name?
atikah: *laughs* hi bored, i'm bored too.
nicole: hi bored too, i'm sick now.
xiao yan: why is everyone having balloons?
GOODNESS! i cracked up then. Xiao Yan was so random. out of no where she can come up with a "why is everyone having balloons?" how much more random can you get.
oh and ms. ng ended up with cake on her face today. as expected. but i think it was a little too far. they fed her 4 cherries! and a small slice of cake, and all the while ms ng was was protesting. and they didnt stop. it was funny the first two cherries. then after that it seemed kinda mean. i admit i laughed, and i'm not some kind of saint who never does anything wrong. but when something is funny, it's funny. after reaching the limit, stop for bob's sake. she is your teacher. show her some respect will you?
chitter chatter. chapel was the pits. no one was really listening, and leong tian hang was so darn annoying. talking and talking away. rudeness. how can one expect respect from others when one does not give due respect to others? open question to anyone who bothers to answer.
MUCH LOVE!! Ta-ta.
P.S: these are personal views. not meant to offend anyone. not meant to be cutthroat and whatnot. DO NOT TAKE ME FOR REAL! I CANNOT AFFORD LEGAL FEES! thank you and happy valentines day.
by
nicole, the one and only
the cow flew away
Saturday, February 04, 2006
ever wondered why when someone asks you a question, you give a shitty answer, then after you've answered, you think of the perfect thing to say? or when someone asks you a question and you give a perfectly dumb response and then you know exactly what to say? just a random thought. well it happened to me on countless occasions. i somehow manage to say the dumbest effing stuff. and then when that person gets mad at me i wish i could take it back. and sometimes saying sorry is really not enough. it as if i promised myself that i will not think before i say something. and worse of all, words are like toothpaste. once they're out there there's no way to put them back. people always tell me to think before i say anything. but tell me. if you think for more then 5 seconds. people call you slow, and if u give them an answer right away and it's very hurting, they call you a bitch. ironic? yeah, totally. and i am so sorry to that one person. whom i think i have insulted.
every had one of those monments where you lose your head and tell some random person all your secrets?
me neither. HAHA.
today. woke up at 1130am. sat on the sofa for half an hour watched tv. talked rot with my brother. then went to the kitchen to make breakfast. toast with jam and kaya spread. today i liked the jam more then the kaya. gosh i sound like a kid.
then my mom woke up. and told my brother he had to go for tuition, and she wanted to bring me and my sister out to eat. then came a stupid quarrel. and i ended up going with my mom for breakfast with out my sister. i had ice jelly thing and dumplings.
i dont feel like blogging about my day anymore.
i feel so odd now. thinking about things. and random thoughts are running through my head. and i'm really out of sorts today. do you ever feel that the world is full of your friends but then they're not? do you ever feel like people are so fake that they can be be actors and actresses in movies. did you ever feel like your life is a horrible tv drama series that people are watching and laughing at your misfortunes?
i have. it whomps. big time.
goodness. isn't my life eff-ed up? if i just dissappeared into thin air it wouldnt really make a difference would it? i'm like this walking dream. not really here. floating around with no aim.
but i do have an aim. i want to be sucessful, i want to do it my way. reasons why i dont get along with "them"? maybe cos i refuse to be like them? i've seen people i know change their entire character just to be "it".
when you have power it consumes you. when you have power you dont think rationally. when you have power you become a tryant. tyrants arent loved. are they? most tyrants just want more power. the world owes them, dignity, respect. and we do owe tyrants those things. but in the long run? guess who owes who?
by
nicole, the one and only
the cow flew away
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. And what's worse is that I'm kinda still in the holiday mood so I'm constantly tired and want to fall asleep. lemme say something. I really dislike the sec ones this year. Total buggers. Small little ones. I've got to say. they are sooo childish. Swinging on chairs? It's like they don't know their place in the school. Sec ones, I'm not saying that they should bow down to us or anything, just show a bit of respect for us seniors. Tyrannical? Guess so. Do I care? I don't really give a rip. nahh.. I actually do. My, my, my, am I a bundle of contradictions today.
any guesses to why I'm SO tweaked? Because during my FREE period I was at the library just relaxing, sleeping actually, cos we ran a 2.4 for PE today, and I was SO tired. Well so there I was sleeping, and the library was pretty quiet, save for the VERY quiet discussions of Tracy, jeanette, laffyette, dionel and kamaljit. Then horror struck(I'm exaggerating here!) a whole bunch of sec ones came in, my goodness, they were so noisy, and they woke me from my beauty sleep, I assumed they were having a STUDY period. But they were making hell loads of noise, and they brought in a teacher. Some new person. She was like trying to keep them quiet and such. Then that "lady" came up to us and asked us if we were supposed to be talking and/or listening to our discman/mp3 players whatever. and we were like yeah. It's a FREE period. And she was all like, well since it's a STUDY period shouldn't you all be quiet and not talking? And are you allowed to use that?*she points to jeanette's discman* I was like uhhh.. We are allowed to use it. Because it's a FREE period. Our class is having mother tongue now and we are having a FREE period.(note: emphasis on the word "free". It's a effing free period and not a stupid study period!) and she was like since it's a study period you should be quiet and not talking, it's a library afterall. At that point I nearly snapped, my landau, thanks to kamaljit who stopped me before I could get a booking for mouthing off to a teacher. So I just went well, I'm sorry then. And she being the smartest "teacher" was happy that she "won". ahhh... She wishes. Her stupid class was SO noisy, and here she is picking on us? Fabulously brilliant. She cant control her class and she comes to "find fault" with us, knowing fully that we cannot speak againt her, defiance and all that jazz.. pfft. Another reason for me to want to go overseas and/or transfer schools. This school's teachers sometimes have no brains. Save for the few that are brilliant. My goodness, I am SO tweaked today.
then after school, I went to xiao yan's house with her and atikah to pick up atikah's locker key. rajesh and dehua came along. they wanted to drag me along to take the train. and we ended up taking a cab and they dropped me off at jurong mrt. blahlala. and rajesh kept saying that he is one of the most multi-racial people in Singapore. Actually he was more like I am a very multi-racial guy, I celebrate Christmas, Chinese new year, and deepavali and so on.. and it was very random. it just came out when he and dehua was arguing about who knows jurong better. Ah... Guys and their insecurities. Well... Once again, I'M BORED AND MY DUMB IPOD IS NOT WORKING. I'M SUPER TWEAKED!
I'm supposed to be doing math now but since my ipod is not working and I need loud music to get me in the mood, this whomps. Big time. I need my distractions. Oh and my mom reformatted the laptop with all my songs in it. SO.. Anyone willing to send me songs raise your hand! Or just send it to me when you see me online. Thank you and I hope you'll have a nice day. Or t the very least better then mine.
MUCH LOVE!!
by
nicole, the one and only
the cow flew away
